Saturday, January 1, 2011

Resolved

So, here it is -- the first day of 2011.

1/1/11.

Full of hope and possibilities. A new beginning. A new set of calendars and day planners.

I sat down this week and began to fill them out. For the past 21 years I have automatically marked certain dates -- the first weeks of March for the basketball playoffs; the last weekend in May for softball; the second weekend in December for the football finals. The last Friday in August...

But no more.

Now I only had to mark the usual birthdays and anniversaries. The rest is left blank. Full of possibilities.

2010 wasn't a good year for me.

I lost a job I loved and with it, my identity. I was moved, kicking and screaming, into a job I hated and resented. It hurt. It still does.

But I'm learning to live with it.

I'm happy to have a job. A good-paying job. And there's a lot to be said for 9-5.

I waited most of the year for something to happen with my book and still am. I got great, positive feedback from many who read it. I got an agent. I got impatient.

I go into 2011 still waiting. Still hoping.

Just as I did last year.

On this day one year ago I started another diet.

But I walked less than I should have.

I ate more than I should have.

And I yelled more than I should have at my little girl and my little old Mom.

So I hereby resolve:

To be more patient.

Not to expect so much from my 9-year-old child. Or my 53-year-old husband. Or my 77-year old Mommy.

To do more with all of them.

To hug and kiss them more.

To eat less and move more.

To let go of the life I had.

To be happy that I have a job -- a good one -- at all.

To let this space be my creative outlet. Even if no one reads it.

And to continue to have hope.

1 comment:

  1. Fantastic, Lo. Letting the past go has always been my biggest problem. Still is. But when we can realize that the present/future has just as much and more potential than the old life, then we can start living again. Living happily, that is. Good luck. You deserve happiness. (And so does your family.)

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