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1994 - 2024
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When I first brought my boyfriend home to my parent's house in Houma, circa 1992, they were not thrilled.
It wasn't that I brought home some weird rando I had just picked up off the street. He was a nice guy I met through a co-worker. His name was Marty. He was well-known in the New Orleans area as a baseball coach. He had a job. A car. An apartment.
But he also had an ex-wife and two young children, and my mama was not happy about it.
"She'll be in your life forever," Mama warned.
"You'll be raising someone else's children."
As Marty and I continued to date, fall in love, and start to plan a future, my mama's angst only continued to grow.
Finally, as the wedding date drew near, Mama accepted the inevitable.
"Go ahead and marry him. You'll be divorced in a year."
True story.
Although my Mama was a very successful and popular Tarot Card reader in the French Quarter of New Orleans in her later life, she was not much of a psychic.
We were married on a cold, rainy December 17, 1994 at Laura Plantation in Vacherie, Louisiana -- back when plantation weddings were still in vogue. And on Tuesday, December 17, 2024, Marty and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary.
He came to me with an ex-wife who is indeed still in my life, as a friend. He also came with two children, Daniel, 8, and Courtney, 6. We received our daughter Lora Leigh in 2001. Now we have a daughter-in-law, two grandchildren, Robi and Laken, an angel, Parker, in heaven; and a soon-to-be son-in-law. Plus a few in-law/out-laws.
We've been through infertility, adoption failures, the adoption process, job changes, career changes, wins and losses, a pandemic, three high school and college graduations, a Hall of Fame induction, a wedding, a lost grandchild, lost parents and siblings, hurricanes, parents moving in, parents moving out, live-in nephews, live-in mamas, an empty nest, working together, and retirement. We are lucky that only in the last year have we faced any kind of medical issues -- his back and my eyes.
And we have handled it all together, with love and with grace for one another. We are a team.
My mama knew she had blown this prediction pretty early on, after we made 10 then 20 years, and especially after she had to spend several of her last months living in our spare room.
Every morning, Marty would make coffee and deliver it to her in bed -- just as he has done for me for the last 30 years. He also sat patiently and listened to her stories, some of which she had never even told me!
And towards the end, she started paying him small compliments.
"Marty's a good man."
And my favorite: "If you died, I would have a hard time believing Marty killed you." Because, you know, they always suspect the husband first.
Honestly, over the last 30 years of marriage and the two years leading up to it, Marty and I have gotten into exactly two of what anyone would call "fights." We just don't do it. For one thing, my husband is extremely non-confrontational. He doesn't like to fight so he won't. And the only person I ever really fought with was my mother, so that has made for a pretty perfect union if you ask me.
Also, my husband is a wonderful man.
Yes, he brings me coffee every single morning.
He also does most of the grocery shopping.
He does the laundry because he found me one day nearly upside down in the washing machine trying to get the clothes out. I put it all away, though, because I'm pretty persnickety about the closet we share. It's organized by color.
Dish soap used to really mess with my hands so he did most of the dishes. (We do not have a dishwasher!)
He can cook! He is in charge of the turkey on Thanksgiving. He makes a better roast than I do and we both love a good medium-rare steak.
He got us a pool and a walk-in shower, both of which I love.
Plus, every year since we've gotten married, he has taken me somewhere on our anniversary.
For many years, it was The Grand Hotel in Point Clear, Alabama. That's where we went for our honeymoon because I read in one of my bridal magazines that you should choose a spot that you can return to often, and The Grand was listed as one of America's most romantic hotels. So, we went back again and again and again -- except the years it was closed by hurricanes or a pandemic.... And until they priced themselves right out of our budget. We just can't swing $300 a night plus food and gas.
But we loved all the lights and decorations, the Christmas trees in the lobby, the burning fireplaces and the tea and cookies in the afternoon. We loved staying in the main building because it was so rustic -- then they went and remodeled it. In 2022, we went to Fairhope, just up the road. We stayed in a normally priced hotel and drove to The Grand for a visit.
We found a nice replacement for a while, though -- Margaritaville in Pensacola Beach. It was just a little cheaper, especially in the middle of the week in December. We went there several times. It sold a few years ago and became the Pensacola Beach Resort. We haven't been back yet.
Of course, with work and life and live-in mamas and children, a trip wasn't always in the cards. Sometimes we just went to dinner -- Copeland's, Outback, Saltgrass. If money was tight, we occasionally just cooked our own damn steaks.
We spent one anniversary at a lovely hotel in New Orleans. Went to The Carousel Bar and Port-O-Call for dinner.
For our 25th Marty asked me: Do you want a party or a trip? Now, I love a good party! But I knew damn good and well that if we were to have a 25th anniversary party, I would be the one doing all the planning and all the work. We went to Disney World, just the two of us. It was wonderful.
We always try to do something special to mark the occasion and it almost always involves food. Sometimes drinking. Sometimes shopping. A lot of hand-holding and kissing.
This year, we were going to go to Pensacola to The Paradise Inn, which is very much within our budget! But, it's still Christmas. Then we decided to just drive to Biloxi. But then we just said screw it.
This year for our 30th, we went to the mall. I got a Chik Fil A peppermint shake, Marty got an ice cream cone, and we sat and watched people walk -- something Marty is having a little trouble doing these days. I have eye troubles, but on this day, I could see pretty clearly. Then we drove to LaPlace for dinner at a local restaurant we often overlook but will no longer! It was fabulous!
I had a cocktail, a steak, the most delicious potatoes, and they gave us a delectable chocolate cake. Soooo worth the drive and the climb up the stairs. Then we came home and watched "White Christmas" for at least the 30th time.
We believe staying married for 30 years is an accomplishment worth celebrating -- especially since we both retired this year and are spending a lot more time together. It's not always a smooth ride, but we each have our hobbies and interests to give us our own space. We launched a little podcast to talk about sports -- which is one thing we do have in common. I'm still doing a little bit of writing and he loves to Uber drive.
As a lifelong journalist, the 30 is a meaningful number. We use it, along with what used to be called the pound sign or the number sign but is now known as a hastag -- # -- to signify the end of copy. It was used to let editors know that there was no more to the story.
So in this case, instead of #30 I am going to use <30 because this is not the end of our story!
<30
Click to watch us grow old together.... December 17 slideshow
